my last blog had been last november of 2009, its the middle of 2010 now and have decided to brush up on my writing again..

i went back to school you see, to college for i never finished it. all of my siblings including our youngest are graduates. so i decided to finish my course which is nursing.

way back then, i was a bit anxious...but not for the same reason i had when i was a young freshman. my anxiety came from the fact that this time around im way older from the other students, im even older than most of my professors. but i braved that fact and went back to 3rd year college.

it was the same and it was not.

school was still the same, they still got rules, classes that you have to hurry to, students factions was still strong, and like before, school was pretty much boring i had to admit.

it was different coz their rules were bent for me most of the time, being viewed as an oldie had its rewards ;), i didnt need to hurry up to classes for they were more lenient to the older students...meaning me, student factions didn't interest me and it was still boring coz, like way back, i didnt have to strive hard to pass, it was pretty much laid back. Duty was the same, when i was younger and in second year, i learn procedures, i make mistakes, i learn competencies in the procedures, cases was still the same, i still see blood, pain and misery when patients are involved, trying to gain their trust that we were there to help inspite of the fact that we were student was still a long process. learning not to be irate when the clinical instructors slips up (mind you, a lot of C.I.s do make mistakes, they just pretend that they didnt), and a lot lot lot...and a lot more.

the nursing course is a complex one, but a boring one for me, i must admit i was looking for more than just duties, homeworks and classes. i was hoping to be compassionate, tender and all the bs that comes with sudying to be a nurse...but its not there...it seems sooo clinical..lol

maybe this is because we are left to our own devices, the C.I. that we're under seldom teach...i can count with my one hand the number of them who actually devoted time to explain a procedure or a case, or its implication. i for one had to read up just to understand what i was doing.

i still have to meet a C.I. whose dedication and passion is infectious, maybe someday...if i wish hard enough on a shooting star....YEAH RIGHT!