The second sister

The very first memory I have of her was when we were in Tanauan. I was visiting my parents then, was so young and had a fever. She was checking me out for mom was freaking out when she saw a little bit of blood in my vomit. She easily persuaded mom that everything was okay.

After that, all my memory of her was that she worked in the states, occasionally calling and occasionally visiting the Philippines. Our eldest, would tell me all about her, at that point, I always believed her. She was supposedly a sister of mine, who was working hard in the states. A sister who was devoted in helping all of her siblings, a sister, who my parents were using, a sister who had a little control of the family because she was earning more than anyone, a sister who was also helping us out so I was in no way supposed to piss her off. Back then, I get to talk to her on the phone or get a letter once in awhile, she sounded different to my big confusion, she always asked about how I was doing, and the only orders I got from her was to get my grades up. Our eldest had this thing, being soft spoken but deadly, saying one thing but acting the opposite, so I figured maybe the other one was the same. I always thought, that instead of telling me I had to follow her directives because she was capable of stuff, it would have gone better if people would had just asked me to respect her as a sister. But then again, we are talking about me here, I think I would still rebel that hard, only if I was told to respect her instead of fear her, I would had have someone to actually talk to about the problems I had. But that’s the past now, getting to know her was hard at first, I realized who she really was when my husband tried to point out what was real, and what was not. I had only been able to know her thru my husband’s eyes, which was a real “eye” opener so to speak.

I had concluded that this sister of mine is as complex as anyone I know, yes opinionated to a fault, a control freak when it comes to her siblings, as head strong as me when she thinks she is right, a total workaholic and a lot more, the only difference is that, no matter how she is, specially with us, its because a part of the reason why she does these things is because she cares for us, the other part, I honestly can say I’m still trying to figure out. It is just nice that the myths had been separated from what is real.

Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe she is crazy sometimes, most of the time she is sane, being older gives her more power over her younger siblings I guess, but I would never EVER discount the fact that she truly loves us, no matter who we are, and what we are, that’s why she is crazily overprotective.

One thing though, I am still discovering who she is, I still get surprise when she does the complete opposite of what I was told, like the preconditioned idea of her , and what I am discovering about her, I honestly truly love.